I've debated writing this blog for some time now. I don't want to risk offending anyone and I don't want to discredit in any way how wonderful breastfeeding can be and how healthy it can be for your baby. I know that it is supposed to be the best choice for your baby and everyone should breastfeed their babies, but not everyone can.
There are various reason why some women may not be able to nurse. Some really want to but their bodies don't cooperate. Some babies have complications and are required to stay in the hospital for weeks and weeks. Some try but are unable to succeed. And for some women, like myself, it's just not a good choice for them. I spent my entire pregnancy trying to convince myself that breastfeeding was something I could try, but I couldn't move past my feelings and thoughts about it. I knew it was not the right choice for me and I know I made the best choice for my daughter and myself. I'm part of the deal, too.
I feel like there's so much pressure put on mothers today to breastfeed that if they don't, they're made to feel like they've failed at parenthood and have done a horrible disservice to their babies. I received a lot of down-right rude comments when people found out that I had made the choice to use formula. I was told my baby wouldn't be as smart as breastfed babies, she wouldn't develop properly, she would be sick all the time, and that we wouldn't be able to bond or form a relationship. Thankfully I was secure enough in my decision that I didn't let those comments affect me. I knew they weren't true and it was because I loved my baby that I didn't force myself to nurse her. Like I said, I made the right choice for our situation. Everyone is different.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, or are on the fence about whether or not to breastfeed, I wish to offer an argument for the formula side. I've seen so many posts on social networks and the internet lately about how terrible of a person I am if I don't breastfeed. I think it's time someone spoke up about the myths that are making people feel so pressured and lay out the pro's that accompany choosing to formula feed. Yes, there are perks!
1. You're not the only one who can feed your baby. Now, before I continue on this, some babies will take a breast and a bottle. If you're lucky enough to have one of those, you can try pumping to allow others to feed your child. I considered this option myself but it still didn't settle with me. But you can make that choice for yourself. With formula, it doesn't matter when you feed your baby or who does it. There's no pumping involved and no mess to deal with. You simply dump the correct amount of formula in the bottle and baby has a meal! This was the number one reason I chose formula. It was very important to me to have my husband be able to feed our baby. I knew I couldn't handle being on my own with the feedings day and night. I also wanted him to have that time to bond. When she was first born, he actually got to feed her first and I remember sitting there watching him hold her while she ate and they just stared at each other. I could tell they were instantly in love. It only solidified my choice even more. It makes me cry thinking about it. I also can remember him coming back to bed at 3 a.m., tired of course, but telling me about how cute she was or how much she had eaten or how she just stared at him. Nighttime feedings can be hard, but they were also special in their own way and I'm glad he got to experience it for himself. Also, if I was up all night, every night, I would have killed everyone in our house :) But that's just me.
2. You don't have to worry about what you eat. I've seen lots of situations where people have to alter their diet because their baby either doesn't like what they ate, or they have allergies. That didn't matter with formula. Some babies require different types of formula depending on their digestive systems or whatever, so there's not one magical blend that every baby can eat. But it was nice to eat what I wanted and how much or how little I wanted.
3. You can still bond with your baby. Breastfeeding is not the only way you will connect with your baby. You can still have skin to skin contact elsewhere without them feeding from your boob. I personally believe the baby doesn't care whether the nipple is real or not, they just want to be fed. I'm sure there are studies out there that will disprove my theory, but the way I see it, I don't remember being an infant. I don't remember where my nutrients came from nor do I care. I don't have a complex as an adult because I wasn't breastfed. Your baby will be fine and they will still love you just as much. And you will love them! How can you not??
4. Formula fed babies stay full longer. I was reading a pin on pinterest about the timeline of a breastfed baby. It was insane. Breastfed babies eat every 2-3 hours and it usually takes an hour per feeding for the first few weeks. That means you're feeding your baby for an hour, every hour or two. WOW! No wonder some moms are so tired! I admire their sacrifices for their babies. I really do. But, since my baby ate formula, she ate for about 20 minutes every 4 hours. We had her sleeping through the night at 2 months old because her tummy would stay fuller longer. That's not always the case. Saying that doesn't mean your baby instantly will start sleeping really well at a young age. We got lucky. But I know having formula helped that.
5. Your baby will get all the nutrients they need. This is where formula and breastfeeding don't measure up. Breastfeeding really is best for your child. But only slightly. Research tries to make it seem like breast milk is leaps and bounds above formula and that formula will just scarcely keep your baby alive. That is not true. They are very similar and your baby will get all the vitamins, protein, nutrients, and immune support they need. They won't be deficient. I remember when I had someone actually tell me my daughter wouldn't be very smart. They yelled at me that studies show that breastfed babies have higher IQ's. So I did my research. Yes, that study does exist. Do you know what the difference was? 1-3 points higher for their IQ's. That's it. And that wasn't with every baby in the study. Your genes and how you raise your baby will determine their IQ. Not what they eat. Breast milk isn't some magical potion that will make your baby perfect. Neither is formula. But they both provide everything your baby needs to grow up strong, healthy, and happy.
6. Bottle feeding is painless! I can't count the number of times I've heard women complain about how badly breastfeeding hurts. This isn't always the case, but it's very common. With a bottle, you don't have to worry about that. You also don't have to worry once your baby starts teething. They can bite the bottle nipple all they want!
7. You'll always know how much your baby is eating. One of the biggest worries of new mothers who are nursing is wondering if their baby got enough to eat. Eventually you get the hang of it and your baby will eat until it's full. I personally loved knowing exactly how much my baby ate at any given point. I knew she needed to eat more before bed than she did in the middle of the day and I was able to watch that. It was a comfort to me.
8. You can feed your child wherever you go, and in front of people. I remember my first grocery shopping trip with my newborn by myself. She became fussy and hungry towards the end when I had a cart full of groceries. An experienced mom would have just made their baby wait until they got to the car or back to the house. But as a first time mom, it's mortifying when your baby starts screaming and you know they're hungry. I was grateful that all I had to do was pull out a bottle, stick it in her mouth, and keep shopping. It was so convenient!
9. You will still lose weight if you don't breastfeed. I think one of the biggest arguments I hear is that nursing will make you skinny. Although that is true for some, it is not an all-encompassing rule. You still have to be careful about calories and watch what you eat, which you'll have to do no matter how your child is fed.
Formula isn't a walk in the park. It has its downfalls as well. Breast milk is free and formula isn't. When you choose to bottle feed, you have to buy bottles and wash them. That can be a pain. You have to make sure a bottle is ready and the right temperature, if your baby has a preference. You don't have to worry about that if you nurse. Each choice has pros and cons. It's up to each mother to survey her situation and weigh her options and make a choice that's right for her. I admire mothers that breastfeed their kids and wish that it was something I could do. But it isn't. And at our house, we're all fine with the alternative.
Please don't feel like you're making a horrible choice if you pick bottles. I wanted to make it known to mothers out there that formula can be just as good of a choice, if not better for you and your baby, depending on your circumstances. It doesn't matter how you choose to do it, just keep your baby fed, happy, and enjoy this time because it goes by so fast! Before you know it they'll be throwing carrots across the room and whining for juice!
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