Healthy Chocolate Zucchini Muffins!

Sorry for the hiatus. I've been focusing on lots of other things lately and neglected my poor little mommy blog. But I'm back and will hopefully make up for it with these muffins!

I came home from the gym tonight starving! I had eaten dinner super early before the class so I wouldn't vomit all over everyone else while working out. And yes, I've almost done that before. Lesson learned. Anywho, so by the time dinner burned itself off naturally and with the help of an hour long workout, I was ravenous. And I wanted CHOCOLATE! 

I raced home determined to somehow fit some chocolate into my mouth and not have to count the calories. As I searched the kitchen, instead if finding chocolate, I happened upon all the fruits and veggies we had sitting in our fridge. I knew those were what I should be eating!! But chocolate still lingered on my mind. Then all the sudden it hit me: zucchini bread! Or better yet, zucchini muffins!!

Not being a baker, I had no idea how to make them. So I did some searching on Pinterest and found a recipe from Spark People's website that was healthier than most of the ones I had looked at. Sometimes the healthier options scare the crap out of me because who wants to waste time cooking something that tastes like cardboard. Or grass. But I recognized all the ingredients in this recipe so it seemed reasonable. After the initial try, I was pleasantly surprised to find they taste very good. They're not super sweet but they're only about 130 calories a muffin and have some servings of veggies and fruits! Win! I can't wait to test them out on my two year old in the morning. They were pretty easy to make. And if I didn't screw it up, then anyone can do it! 

Chocolate Zucchini Muffins 

1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour

4 TBSP cocoa powder 

1 1/4 tsp baking powder 

3/4 tsp baking soda 

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp ground cinnamon 

I small, fresh banana (mashed)

1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce 

1/4 cup milk

1 tsp vanilla extract 

1 cup shredded zucchini 

1/2 cup granulated sugar 

Chocolate chips, if desired. 

Preheat oven to 350. Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. In another bowl, cream mashed banana, applesauce, and sugar together. Add the milk, vanilla, zucchini, and chocolate chips. Stir till combined. 

Combine the flour mixture with the wet mixture slowly until all ingredients are well blended. It will be thick and sticky. Put about 1/4 cup into each cup of a greased (or paper lined) muffin tin. Bake for 15-20 minutes. Enjoy! 

Tilapia, Sweet Potatoes, and Asparagus

I've been a slacker since Christmas in the eating healthy department. I fell out of the habit of using myfitnesspal and have been eating junk. I've been trying really hard to rectify that lately.

I've been using my app again and have been increasing the intensity level of my workouts to burn more calories. More calories means more chocolate!! :)

I am NOT a believer that everything that's delicious and wonderful in the world should be cut out of a diet. I, for one, would collapse on myself like a dying star if that happened. I love my candy, French fries, hamburgers, and Cafe Rio almost as much as my own child. I know, I know, sugar is harmful, certain foods make your body hold on to fat, blah, blah, blah. I don't think that's nonsense, I just don't care. I'm not trying to lose any weight, just maintain a healthy physique.

But I do believe in counting calories. You simply have to burn more than you consume to get any results. So I try really hard to stay within my calorie budget each day. I eat healthier when I have the choice (wheat bread, lots of veggies, less salt and butter, etc) but most of the health-nut health foods and recipes I see look horrifying. I think food should actually taste good. Swallowing should be a pleasant experience.

Today has been a good day. I still have 550 calories left I can technically "eat" and still stay under budget, and I've had a full size Twix candy bar today! How is that possible you ask? With meals like this:

Pan Seared Tilapia with roasted sweet potatoes and steamed asparagus (pictured below).

This dinner was so tasty! And it was only 313 calories!! BOOYAH! To some extent, it is possible to eat healthier and actually enjoy what you're eating.

To make this, I just spray a frying pan with olive oil cooking spray, and cook the tilapia while squirting lime juice over the top every now and then (about 3-4 times). I season it with lemon pepper. I steamed the asparagus in a pot with a steaming basket and put a small amount of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on top and some garlic salt. For the sweet potatoes, lightly coat them with olive oil and season with season salt and Italian dressing mix. Bake at 400 degrees for 45 minutes, turning every 15.

And just like that, you have an amazing dinner that you don't feel guilty about.

The Pros of Formula Feeding

I've debated writing this blog for some time now. I don't want to risk offending anyone and I don't want to discredit in any way how wonderful breastfeeding can be and how healthy it can be for your baby. I know that it is supposed to be the best choice for your baby and everyone should breastfeed their babies, but not everyone can. 

There are various reason why some women may not be able to nurse. Some really want to but their bodies don't cooperate. Some babies have complications and are required to stay in the hospital for weeks and weeks. Some try but are unable to succeed. And for some women, like myself, it's just not a good choice for them. I spent my entire pregnancy trying to convince myself that breastfeeding was something I could try, but I couldn't move past my feelings and thoughts about it. I knew it was not the right choice for me and I know I made the best choice for my daughter and myself. I'm part of the deal, too. 

I feel like there's so much pressure put on mothers today to breastfeed that if they don't, they're made to feel like they've failed at parenthood and have done a horrible disservice to their babies. I received a lot of down-right rude comments when people found out that I had made the choice to use formula. I was told my baby wouldn't be as smart as breastfed babies, she wouldn't develop properly, she would be sick all the time, and that we wouldn't be able to bond or form a relationship. Thankfully I was secure enough in my decision that I didn't let those comments affect me. I knew they weren't true and it was because I loved my baby that I didn't force myself to nurse her. Like I said, I made the right choice for our situation. Everyone is different.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, or are on the fence about whether or not to breastfeed, I wish to offer an argument for the formula side. I've seen so many posts on social networks and the internet lately about how terrible of a person I am if I don't breastfeed. I think it's time someone spoke up about the myths that are making people feel so pressured and lay out the pro's that accompany choosing to formula feed. Yes, there are perks!

1. You're not the only one who can feed your baby. Now, before I continue on this, some babies will take a breast and a bottle. If you're lucky enough to have one of those, you can try pumping to allow others to feed your child. I considered this option myself but it still didn't settle with me. But you can make that choice for yourself. With formula, it doesn't matter when you feed your baby or who does it. There's no pumping involved and no mess to deal with. You simply dump the correct amount of formula in the bottle and baby has a meal! This was the number one reason I chose formula. It was very important to me to have my husband be able to feed our baby. I knew I couldn't handle being on my own with the feedings day and night. I also wanted him to have that time to bond. When she was first born, he actually got to feed her first and I remember sitting there watching him hold her while she ate and they just stared at each other. I could tell they were instantly in love. It only solidified my choice even more. It makes me cry thinking about it. I also can remember him coming back to bed at 3 a.m., tired of course, but telling me about how cute she was or how much she had eaten or how she just stared at him. Nighttime feedings can be hard, but they were also special in their own way and I'm glad he got to experience it for himself. Also, if I was up all night, every night, I would have killed everyone in our house :) But that's just me.

2. You don't have to worry about what you eat. I've seen lots of situations where people have to alter their diet because their baby either doesn't like what they ate, or they have allergies. That didn't matter with formula. Some babies require different types of formula depending on their digestive systems or whatever, so there's not one magical blend that every baby can eat. But it was nice to eat what I wanted and how much or how little I wanted.

3. You can still bond with your baby. Breastfeeding is not the only way you will connect with your baby. You can still have skin to skin contact elsewhere without them feeding from your boob. I personally believe the baby doesn't care whether the nipple is real or not, they just want to be fed. I'm sure there are studies out there that will disprove my theory, but the way I see it, I don't remember being an infant. I don't remember where my nutrients came from nor do I care. I don't have a complex as an adult because I wasn't breastfed. Your baby will be fine and they will still love you just as much. And you will love them! How can you not??

4. Formula fed babies stay full longer. I was reading a pin on pinterest about the timeline of a breastfed baby. It was insane. Breastfed babies eat every 2-3 hours and it usually takes an hour per feeding for the first few weeks. That means you're feeding your baby for an hour, every hour or two. WOW! No wonder some moms are so tired! I admire their sacrifices for their babies. I really do. But, since my baby ate formula, she ate for about 20 minutes every 4 hours. We had her sleeping through the night at 2 months old because her tummy would stay fuller longer. That's not always the case. Saying that doesn't mean your baby instantly will start sleeping really well at a young age. We got lucky. But I know having formula helped that.

5. Your baby will get all the nutrients they need. This is where formula and breastfeeding don't measure up. Breastfeeding really is best for your child. But only slightly. Research tries to make it seem like breast milk is leaps and bounds above formula and that formula will just scarcely keep your baby alive. That is not true. They are very similar and your baby will get all the vitamins, protein, nutrients, and immune support they need. They won't be deficient. I remember when I had someone actually tell me my daughter wouldn't be very smart. They yelled at me that studies show that breastfed babies have higher IQ's. So I did my research. Yes, that study does exist. Do you know what the difference was? 1-3 points higher for their IQ's. That's it. And that wasn't with every baby in the study. Your genes and how you raise your baby will determine their IQ. Not what they eat. Breast milk isn't some magical potion that will make your baby perfect. Neither is formula. But they both provide everything your baby needs to grow up strong, healthy, and happy.

6. Bottle feeding is painless! I can't count the number of times I've heard women complain about how badly breastfeeding hurts. This isn't always the case, but it's very common. With a bottle, you don't have to worry about that. You also don't have to worry once your baby starts teething. They can bite the bottle nipple all they want!

7. You'll always know how much your baby is eating. One of the biggest worries of new mothers who are nursing is wondering if their baby got enough to eat. Eventually you get the hang of it and your baby will eat until it's full. I personally loved knowing exactly how much my baby ate at any given point. I knew she needed to eat more before bed than she did in the middle of the day and I was able to watch that. It was a comfort to me.

8. You can feed your child wherever you go, and in front of people. I remember my first grocery shopping trip with my newborn by myself. She became fussy and hungry towards the end when I had a cart full of groceries. An experienced mom would have just made their baby wait until they got to the car or back to the house. But as a first time mom, it's mortifying when your baby starts screaming and you know they're hungry. I was grateful that all I had to do was pull out a bottle, stick it in her mouth, and keep shopping. It was so convenient!

9. You will still lose weight if you don't breastfeed. I think one of the biggest arguments I hear is that nursing will make you skinny. Although that is true for some, it is not an all-encompassing rule. You still have to be careful about calories and watch what you eat, which you'll have to do no matter how your child is fed.

Formula isn't a walk in the park. It has its downfalls as well. Breast milk is free and formula isn't. When you choose to bottle feed, you have to buy bottles and wash them. That can be a pain. You have to make sure a bottle is ready and the right temperature, if your baby has a preference. You don't have to worry about that if you nurse. Each choice has pros and cons. It's up to each mother to survey her situation and weigh her options and make a choice that's right for her. I admire mothers that breastfeed their kids and wish that it was something I could do. But it isn't. And at our house, we're all fine with the alternative.

Please don't feel like you're making a horrible choice if you pick bottles. I wanted to make it known to mothers out there that formula can be just as good of a choice, if not better for you and your baby, depending on your circumstances. It doesn't matter how you choose to do it, just keep your baby fed, happy, and enjoy this time because it goes by so fast! Before you know it they'll be throwing carrots across the room and whining for juice!

So this one time...

There is a class at our gym that's extremely intense. It's the hardest class the gym offers (so I've been told) and after talking to some women who frequently attend (and also have arms bigger than my husband) it sounded just crazy enough to try. What did I have to lose? Other than the full functioning capacity of my muscles?

I first attended a little over a month ago, just as I was trying to get better after having bronchitis. Obviously, a dumb move. The class was no joke! It was a weight training day and I had half the weight the other girls did and kept stopping to hack up a lung and I was still dead. But I thought maybe I could do better when I felt better.

Flash forward to today when I finally made it to class to try it again. I won't lie, I was nervous. The instructor started class with dividing us into two groups. She sent one group to start on the cardio portion while we started on weights. Through sheer peer pressure and intimidation by the size of her muscles, she made us grab the biggest dumb bells available and start working our biceps. We ran through a cycle of different workouts that left my arms feeling like jelly. I've been to enough classes to know that one round wasn't going to cut it. I lost track at 5. We constantly pumped our arms and ripped our biceps for 10 entire minutes. Nonstop. With heavy weights. I have never in my existence experienced pain like that. I literally couldn't move my arms. They were frozen in the position of a bicep curl.

As soon as we set the weights down she shoved us out the door to go run stairs for 10 minutes while the other group did their biceps. I guess I shouldn't say she shoved US out the door. All the other girls in the class were pretty dang fit and were halfway out the door before my brain had registered that I had set the dumb bells down and needed to stand back up and not stay hunched over, frozen in pain. The other girls knew what was expected of them and had set off like they were defending their country against all things, foreign and domestic. And there I was, hardly able to think straight my arms ached so bad.

I watched in embarrassment as two 36 weeks pregnant women zoomed past me out the door to go run their stairs. Surely if they could do this, then I could, too! I gathered my composure and set out the door after them.

We reached the stairs and they all started taking off. I was keeping up, and I never had to stop and rest, but I was huffing and puffing like a smoker trying to run a marathon. All the other girls were casually carrying on conversations like they were at a BBQ with their feet soaking in a pool. Be cool, I told myself. It's your first day. You'll get there. It doesn't matter that these women will be giving birth in the next few days, which means they're bouncing around an extra 20 pounds in their uteruses and not even breaking a sweat. Don't let that get to you.

After our little party on the stairs (and yes, we ran them nonstop for at least 10 minutes) we were back in the classroom destroying the crap out of our triceps. Again the paralyzingly pain returned after completing all sets of the super-human exercises the teacher had concocted.

This time for cardio, we were instructed to go sprint on the treadmill at a pace of 9 mph or faster and we could take a brief walk if we needed to recover, but then we had to be right back to it as soon as we could. This time I hurried to the door to be amongst the group and not look so stupid. Running wasn't something I was unfamiliar with so I was kind of excited for this one, even though I don't run at that ridiculous of a pace. I began to feel a little more confident after we were summoned back to the classroom for another beating. I was keeping up pretty well for my first time! Maybe I was in better shape than I thought?

After a crazy shoulder shredding, we were once again kicked out and instructed to "go as fast as we could on the elliptical at the highest resistance that we could do". This time, I was practically sprinting out the door! I was determined to prove myself!

While heading up the stairs to the elliptical machine, I got to talking to one of the pregnant girls:
Me: so when are you due?
Girl: 4 weeks from today.
Me: that's exciting (or something like that)
...more baby talk ensued...
Girl: so is this your first time in this class?
Me: my first real time, yes. I came about a month ago but I was sick so it was a disaster. This is the first Monday I've had free so I wanted to come try it again. I'm loving it so far. This is pretty intense!
Girl: yeah, it's a great class! This is the perfect day to start out, too because the teacher is taking it so easy today. Last week she about killed us so this is our break. She can be pretty brutal".

Whatever confident wind I had in my sails stopped blowing at that very moment. I'm sorry, did you say this was an EASY day?! There I was, dripping in sweat, my arms ached so badly I didn't know how I was going to pick up my daughter when the class was done, and my heart was pounding in my ears. The only thing making me feel better was knowing I was at least keeping up. Barely, but I was there. And now she tells me it's an EASY day?!

I thought maybe she was just a punk and was yanking my chain but on our next torturous round of ab workouts the teacher apologized to the class for being so easy on us. And some actually looked irritated at her for that being the case. Who were these people?! I began to feel totally inadequate and was beginning to resolve to sticking with my usual classes I go to, but then, for the first time in an hour, I started to really look around the room at the kinds of people who were in attendance.

I don't want to be muscly. I think that's gross, and there were some really muscly women there. But there were also some sickly fit, healthy girls there, too, who looked amazing. Not only that, I really noticed what a support group they had going on. Everyone had a friend or group they were talking to and exercising with. They weren't competing with each other or trying to prove anything to anyone. They were there to get in a great workout and transform their bodies. I'm sure every single one of them started out just like me at one point. Instead of finding the group intimidating and scary, I suddenly found them to be inspirational. I had done awesome for my first time. I may lack the ability to move my arms at all for the next couple days, but I'm that much stronger now. What's wrong with that?

So I told myself then and there that I was going to go to this class as often as my schedule allows. This is something I want to try and get better at. And according to the other girls, you never do the same thing twice. Ok, you really do, but it's mixed up a lot.

So, wish me luck as I embark on my journey of keeping up with fitness robots and trying not to die. Hopefully some day I'll leave without a genuine concern for a heart attack and the inability to lift anything heavier than my keys.

Dealing With Difficult People

We've all dealt with difficult people in our lives. It's part of being human. For whatever reason, there are people who we just can't seem to get along with.

It seems this problem has been happening ten fold lately in my life. It has actually been pretty difficult and challenging for me and quite a burden. Why do these people who treat me so poorly have to be a part of my life? I have felt strongly that there is a lesson for me in all this, so I've spent a lot of time praying for help. The only problem was, I didn't really know what to ask for specifically. "Please help me get along with so and so." Um... think it could get any more vague than that? That's not how the Lord works. We would never learn anything if he just fixed everything for us without any effort on our part. So, I went in search of answers.

Since I can't see a therapist for free (I'm not kidding, I would totally see one) I decided the next best thing was self-help books. I researched a few of them, and by researched I mean I saw them on websites and thought "That looks perfect!" and ordered them on amazon without any further thought. I started one book, which I'm sure I'll review later after I finish it, but then changed to the second book I ordered:

Due to my lack of research, there were a few things that caught me off guard from the beginning, but were actually very beneficial:
1. This book is written by a female minister who started her own church called Church 4 Chicks. That worried me at first, but it actually turned out to be awesome. She doesn't teach anything that isn't consistent with the teaching of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. So really, it was like getting advice from the scriptures and a church leader. Other than her talking about her call to the ministry ;)
2. She wrote this book specifically for women, dealing with other women. That was very helpful because men generally don't have the same kind of catty, impossible-to-like-anyone-around-them-attitude that every woman possesses.
3. The book smelled AMAZING! I love the smell of new books. I couldn't stop sniffing it. I think that's a major contributing factor to why I finished so fast, I couldn't get enough of the smell.
4. It's also a work book. She asks deep questions that make you search yourself and your relationships and gives you places to brainstorm solutions, ideas, and feelings.

I LOVED this book. Ho-ly-COW! It was exactly what I needed. The gist of both books is that you can't change what anyone else does or how they treat those around them, but you can change yourself and your actions. Shelley's book put it on a deeply religious light and provided 6 specific steps we can take to better ourselves and our relationship with God to be free of bad relationships having any control over us. I planned to write a little summary of the 6 steps but I think I'll let you read the book and take that initiative. Instead, I wish to share my feelings on how it helped me.

Like any woman on this planet, I've struggled with some of my relationships in life, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, church leaders, etc. I've had my fair share of pain and experienced a lot of mistrust. I've been treated poorly. I've been bullied. I've been used. I've had people compete with everything I do. And I've held on to those feelings and they have been rotting inside me ever since. Don't get me wrong, I haven't sat and festered over them while sharpening my pitch fork and planning revenge, but I have held poor views of the people involved and have avoided them when possible. Haven't we all? Don't we all? I think most of us prefer to avoid awkward situations and confrontations whenever possible.

But this book has helped me let go of that. It has helped me forgive. Through bettering my relationship with my Savior and realizing that I am a daughter of God and He loves me, no matter what I do or what anyone else thinks or says, I can overcome any situation without scars. I'm proud of who I am and the life Heavenly Father has chosen for me. It's tailored exactly to what I need in order to be the best I can be. Why would I want to compare it to anyone else? Their life was made for them, not me. And when we lose sight of that and start feeling inadequate, we begin to compare ourselves to others and that's when the claws start to come out and we have trouble getting along with each other.

I've learned a powerful lesson this week. I've learned that it doesn't matter if someone doesn't like me. It doesn't matter what they say behind my back or what they're really thinking behind their civil smile. Nothing they do can change who I am or bring me down. I am a daughter of God. I am secure enough in who I am to not care what the insecure and confused/lost souls think. It's my job to forgive them of their wrong-doings, stand up for myself when necessary, show them grace and mercy, and let God handle the punishments for their actions, because only He can see the whole picture and judge fairly. It's also my job to repent when I'm the one who causes harm to another - which I have done before and will probably do again, because we're all human and make mistakes - in order to better those relationships as well.

I've come to accept that everyone is different. Rather than feeling threatened or scared by the differences we see in each other, we need to embrace them! How boring would the world be if we were all the same? We each have different gifts and talents. We each have different trials we've faced and lessons we've learned. We can learn so much from each other. Too often we only seek friends who are just like us. I am guilty of that all the time. But the potential problem with that is we often share the same weaknesses and can unintentionally bring each other down. We don't learn about new things and new views on the world. We remain stuck in our little bubble; never changing and shutting out anyone who is different. I don't want to be that way. People who seem so different from me may have something wonderful to offer me. My goal is to let them have that chance.

I also solidified what I chose to do for one of my new years resolutions; to be a friend to the amazing friends I already do have, instead of trying to force friendships with people who clearly don't care. I spend a lot of time dwelling on the relationships that aren't working because they're the ones that hurt. It's a waste of time and takes away from those who do care. There was a saying in the book that I loved:

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie 

Isn't that awesome? We get so wrapped up in trying to impress others and get them to like us. We think if we can showcase all our best features then we'll have friends lined up around the block. It's purely a selfish and insecure approach. They will see your good qualities in time. Those will not be near as impressive as a sincere and caring person would be. Who would you rather turn to for help, the person who brags about their yearly income? Or the person who listens to you, cries with you, and truly makes you feel loved? We can make so many friends and have so many rewarding relationships by being a good friend. I have an amazing army of friends around me. I know I can stand to be a better listener and a better friend and appreciate them instead of focusing on myself, and I'm going to strive to do that. And I'm going to be a friend to everyone. It doesn't matter the color of their skin, their profession, or if they like the same music I do. Heck, I don't care if they live in a cardboard box. I'm not that shallow and everyone needs friends, true friends, who will love and accept them for who they are.

I highly recommend you go buy this book and read it for yourself. Although the steps in the book will be a life-long learning process, I feel as though I am already on my way. My blinders have been removed and I can see that the opinions of others just don't matter. A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. My self-worth is not dependent on what people think of me. It's not dependent on what they say or how much pain they cause in my life. It's dependent on me and me alone and my relationship with the Savior. He loves each and every one of us individually and unconditionally. No one can take that away from us, so don't let them think they can. Don't let another single person have any control over you. It's how we can truly be free.

Winter Blue's

I hate winter!! It just keeps snowing and snowing and snowing! I can't take it anymore!! We are completely out of room to shovel the snow anywhere off our driveway. Since our house is north facing, we still have feet of snow while the neighbors across the street have a trace in their yards. We literally have mountains lining our driveway that are taller than us. So, with the new 6 inches we got today and the more snow we're supposed to get tonight, there's literally no way to shovel it off the driveway without catapulting it over the mountains and into the middle of the yard, which takes a disgusting amount of effort for each heave. I've had it!!!

I've been looking for someone to blame for this hellish winter all day. I'm so angry I feel like we're being picked on. I mean, isn't enough, enough? MAKE IT STOP!!

But believe it or not, I didn't come here today to whine and complain, although a good venting is what I needed. I came to throw out some ideas that have kept me on the brink of insanity this winter, even though some days I have lost my marbles. These are the things that have made me forget how much I hate living in Utah right now.

1. Netflix. I've drowned myself in tv shows lately to escape my cabin fever. It's not the best solution but at least there's people talking in my house all the time :)

2. Artificial sun. Yes, I mean tanning. And although I am not a giant fan of it and I think it's dangerous, the once in a while that I go has helped lift my spirits and give me some artificial vitamin D.

3. Exercise. After a 6 week hiatus because of our family being so sick, I've been trying to get back into the grind. It's helped keep me happy and focused on other things. I also recommend fitness classes. They're tons of fun and it gets you out of the house.

4. Projects. Even simple ones would do the trick. We started remodeling our front room months ago. We've been so lazy at just getting it done because it's not easy and we never use it anyway but there's one thing to keep me busy. I also started making a cook book on my computer of all the Pinterest recipes I've found so I can just look on paper instead of having to keep my phone on to read the next steps while cooking.

5. Bubble baths. I love bubble baths anyway, but they also help calm me down when I feel like I'm going to lose it. Sometimes I'll even throw a swim diaper on my toddler and let her join me.

6. Online shopping. I have to admit, I've fallen in love with pushing a few buttons and having a cute outfit arrive at my door. It gives me something to look forward to, even if I can't wear the new shoes until spring.

7. Working. I know not everyone has this option, and work isn't always awesome, but it's nice to go and talk to the great girls I work with and be away for a few hours.

8. Cleaning. I may not be able to go outside and enjoy myself, but at least my house is clean and comfortable. That helps make it a good environment.

So those are the things that have helped me make it through this horrible, history-book-worthy winter. I'd add a vacation on the list but we haven't had one yet. We're supposed to go to Moab in a few weeks. I've had my hopes up so high for this trip because I need a vacation so bad, but I have a feeling the weather may not cooperate, and then I'm really going to lose it. We'll see though. Until then I'll keep focusing on not going insane and praying for grass and sunshine.

Love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.
- from 1 Corinthians 13

Happy Valentines Day!